the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
