Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
