That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
