sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
