so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize