dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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