I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
