we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
