If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
