where does the pee come out of this thing
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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