feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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