i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
