Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
