why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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