i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
