Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
