spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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