I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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