i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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