we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just googled if crying burns calories
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
