My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
