Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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