a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
they're like a gay fantastic four
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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