Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
