these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
