Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
