lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
