I'm jealous of your bromance
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize