I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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