im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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