and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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