he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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