You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
