how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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