So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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