I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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