She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize