She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
