Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize