that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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