You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
