wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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