It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize