Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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