Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I intend to get homeless drunk
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize