so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize