no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
