So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
