How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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