i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
