Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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