I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
