8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
no you cant smoke seaweed
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
