hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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