After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
