This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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