you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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