Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
