i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
