Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
