Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
