absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
