What did we do last night that was yellow?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
