She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
