i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize